LION'S MANE: BRAIN BADDIE EDITION 🧠✨
BOSS UP YOUR BRAIN, HONEY 💅
Listen up, gorgeous! Your 40+ brain deserves some serious TLC, and our Lion's Mane tincture is about to be your new BFF. This isn't just another supplement – it's liquid gold for that magnificent mind of yours.
WHY YOUR FABULOUS SELF NEEDS THIS 👑
Memory Sharp AF – Because remembering where you put your keys AND your partner's birthday makes you unstoppable
Brain Function on FIRE – Clarity and focus that makes your 20-something coworkers wonder what you're on
Digestive Queen – Gut health that keeps everything moving smoothly (we all know how important that is)
Neuro-Protection Realness – Shields your brain cells like they're VIPs at the hottest club in town
Myelin-Sheath Repair – Like spa treatment for your nerve cells, keeping signals firing faster than gossip
Mood Magic – Natural antidepressant effects that help kick those blues to the curb
Cognitive Glow-Up – Sharper thinking that makes solving problems feel like child's play
Ulcer Relief – Because stomach drama is SO last season
Immune System BOOST – Keeping your defenses stronger than your opinions
HOW WE DO IT BETTER 💯
PURE MUSHROOM POWER – Whole fruiting bodies only, darling. No myceliated grain filler nonsense. We don't do cheap.
MAXIMUM ABSORPTION – Your gorgeous body deserves ingredients it can actually use! Our extraction process ensures every drop gets to work.
CLEAN AF INGREDIENTS – Organic, non-GMO sugar cane ethanol + local spring water. Gluten-free, no fillers, no BS.
DECADE OF EXPERTISE – We've been mushroom queens for over 10 years. Trust us, we know what we're doing.
HOW TO USE IT (BECAUSE WHO HAS TIME FOR COMPLICATED?) ⏱️
1. Shake that bottle like it owes you money 💰
2. 1 full dropper under your tongue, hold for 30 seconds
3. Twice daily - morning with coffee, evening with wine (we don't judge)
4. Feel fabulous as you conquer your day like the baddie you are 👸
JOIN THE BAD BITCH MUSHROOM MOVEMENT
Total Pussy tinctures aren't for everyone – they're for women who demand more from their supplements and their lives.
*This statement hasn't been evaluated by the FDA, but honestly, has the FDA ever been a 40+ bad bitch juggling a career, family, and still making time for cocktails with the girls? We didn't think so.*
LION'S MANE: BRAIN BADDIE EDITION 🧠✨
BOSS UP YOUR BRAIN, HONEY 💅
Listen up, gorgeous! Your 40+ brain deserves some serious TLC, and our Lion's Mane tincture is about to be your new BFF. This isn't just another supplement – it's liquid gold for that magnificent mind of yours.
WHY YOUR FABULOUS SELF NEEDS THIS 👑
Memory Sharp AF – Because remembering where you put your keys AND your partner's birthday makes you unstoppable
Brain Function on FIRE – Clarity and focus that makes your 20-something coworkers wonder what you're on
Digestive Queen – Gut health that keeps everything moving smoothly (we all know how important that is)
Neuro-Protection Realness – Shields your brain cells like they're VIPs at the hottest club in town
Myelin-Sheath Repair – Like spa treatment for your nerve cells, keeping signals firing faster than gossip
Mood Magic – Natural antidepressant effects that help kick those blues to the curb
Cognitive Glow-Up – Sharper thinking that makes solving problems feel like child's play
Ulcer Relief – Because stomach drama is SO last season
Immune System BOOST – Keeping your defenses stronger than your opinions
HOW WE DO IT BETTER 💯
PURE MUSHROOM POWER – Whole fruiting bodies only, darling. No myceliated grain filler nonsense. We don't do cheap.
MAXIMUM ABSORPTION – Your gorgeous body deserves ingredients it can actually use! Our extraction process ensures every drop gets to work.
CLEAN AF INGREDIENTS – Organic, non-GMO sugar cane ethanol + local spring water. Gluten-free, no fillers, no BS.
DECADE OF EXPERTISE – We've been mushroom queens for over 10 years. Trust us, we know what we're doing.
HOW TO USE IT (BECAUSE WHO HAS TIME FOR COMPLICATED?) ⏱️
1. Shake that bottle like it owes you money 💰
2. 1 full dropper under your tongue, hold for 30 seconds
3. Twice daily - morning with coffee, evening with wine (we don't judge)
4. Feel fabulous as you conquer your day like the baddie you are 👸
JOIN THE BAD BITCH MUSHROOM MOVEMENT
Total Pussy tinctures aren't for everyone – they're for women who demand more from their supplements and their lives.
*This statement hasn't been evaluated by the FDA, but honestly, has the FDA ever been a 40+ bad bitch juggling a career, family, and still making time for cocktails with the girls? We didn't think so.*
